How Collaborative Divorce Can Make Better Co-Parents
When you have children, the divorce process you choose will shape your family’s future for years to come. Collaborative Divorce helps you to create healthier co-parenting habits, reduce conflict, and keep your children’s well-being at the center of every decision. By working together outside of court, you can build a parenting plan that fits your family’s needs while learning better communication skills for a more positive future for parents and children.
Your Divorce Process Shapes Your Future Co-Parenting Relationship
If you and your spouse share children, your relationship does not completely end after divorce. You will still make decisions together about schedules, school events, medical care, holidays, and major life milestones. That is why the divorce process you choose matters.
When you and your spouse go through a lengthy courtroom battle, the conflict often becomes the center of the experience. Many families spend months, or even years, arguing through attorneys and court hearings without learning how to communicate in a healthier way.
Collaborative Divorce works differently. Instead of fighting against each other in court, you work together with a professional team that is focused on helping your family transition into its next chapter.
Keeping Your Children at the Center of the Conversation
One of the most valuable parts of Collaborative Divorce is the focus on your children’s well-being.
In the collaborative process, parents work together to create thoughtful plans about issues such as:
- How to tell the children about the divorce
- Parenting schedules that fit the children’s developmental needs
- How to handle the transition between households
- Ways to communicate respectfully in front of the children
- How to reduce tension during difficult moments
A collaborative team includes a neutral mental health professional who helps you to keep your focus on the impact on the children throughout the process. Even though the children are not sitting at the table, their needs remain the priority in every discussion.
Conflict Affects Children More Than Divorce Itself
Many studies have shown that divorce is not usually what causes lasting harm for children. Ongoing conflict between parents is the bigger issue.
When children are repeatedly exposed to hostility, tension, or constant fighting, the effects will follow them into adulthood. Some children struggle academically, experience anxiety, or have difficulty forming healthy future relationships.
Parents sometimes assume that conflict will fade once the divorce is final. Unfortunately, those unhealthy communication patterns often continue, and your children get stuck in the middle for years.
Learning a Better Way to Communicate
During Collaborative Divorce, the professional team models respectful communication and helps you both to stay focused on productive solutions. Over time, you will begin to see conflict differently and recognize new ways to work together as co-parents.
While divorce may still be the right decision for your family, the collaborative process can help change the tone of your future relationship. Instead of leaving the process angry and disconnected, many parents leave with a stronger ability to communicate and co-parent effectively.
Choosing the Right Process Matters
When you are making decisions about divorce, it is important to think beyond the final paperwork. The path you choose today can affect your family dynamics for many years to come.
Collaborative Divorce gives you the opportunity to create parenting plans tailored to your family, reduce unnecessary conflict, and support your children through the transition in a healthier way. For many parents, that long-term benefit is one of the most important reasons to choose a child-centered divorce process.
FAQs
- Does Collaborative Divorce work well for parents with young children?
Yes. Collaborative Divorce can be especially helpful for parents with younger children because it focuses on creating parenting plans that match the developmental needs of the children. - Is Collaborative Divorce only for couples who already get along?
No. Many couples entering Collaborative Divorce are struggling with communication. The process is designed to help parents improve communication and manage conflict more effectively. - Can Collaborative Divorce help reduce stress on children?
Yes. One of the main goals of Collaborative Divorce is reducing unnecessary conflict between parents and thus reducing the stress on your children.
Born and raised in Connecticut, I am a “double Gator,” having received both my undergraduate and my law degree from the University of Florida. In my practice, I have worked as a Guardian ad Litem with hundreds of children in both dependency and custody cases, frequently appointed by judges. I have been honored to receive many awards and recognition's for my work as a children’s advocate. I received the Florida Bar President’s Pro Bono Service Award for 2017 for my Guardian ad Litem work, and also received the highest award given for Guardian ad Litem representation, the 2016 Judge J.C. “Jake” Stone Distinguished Service Award.
In August 2020, I was one of the first collaborative lawyers to receive accreditation by the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals (FACP), a designation I continue to hold today. I teach Collaborative Law as an Adjunct Law Professor at the Barry University School of Law, and serve as the Director of The Barry Collaborative Family Law Clinic. The Clinic represents modest income families with divorce and paternity through the Collaborative Process. I am a Collaborative Law trainer and speaker, and served as the Administrator and board member of The Collaborative Family Law Group of Florida from 2008-2018.
Whether working with clients in the conference room, by zoom, or in the court room, I am committed to empowering individuals and families to achieve healthier and more positive futures.
