4 Tips for Communicating with Your Spouse During Divorce
Communicating with your spouse well during a divorce can reduce conflict, lower legal costs, and help you both move forward more peacefully. Stay calm, avoid blame, keep children out of earshot, and focus on the future. If emotions rise, step back or consider working with a therapist or communication coach. In Collaborative Divorce, the neutral mental health professional can guide these conversations so that both sides feel heard.
I have always been a proponent of a couple trying to communicate with each other during the divorce process if they can do it in a respectful, healthy, and peaceful way. There are some family law attorneys that advise against talking at all outside of the attorneys, but that often leads to unnecessary costs and delays. If you and your spouse can talk constructively, it is better to work through issues together whenever possible.
Here are some tips for good communication with your spouse during the divorce process.
1. Stay Calm and Respectful
If you notice that emotions are rising, it is okay to end the conversation. Walk away and revisit the discussion later.
2. Talk About Divorce Issues in a Private Setting.
Make sure that conversations with your spouse take place privately, away from where your children can hear what is said. Keep your tone neutral, avoid blaming the past, and focus on future solutions.
3. Know When to Step Back
If the conversation becomes unproductive, walk away from the situation. In some cases, it may help to bring in a family therapist or counselor to guide your conversations. If you already have a professional relationship with a counselor, they can provide structure and keep emotions in check.
4. Consider the Collaborative Divorce Advantage
One of the advantages of the Collaborative Divorce process is the involvement of a communications coach (often a mental health professional). This neutral party will help manage difficult conversations, ensure both spouses feel heard, and prevent misunderstandings. Sometimes, meeting with the collaborative mental health professional separately from the legal team can make discussions more productive.
FAQs
1. Should I avoid all communication with my spouse during a divorce?
Not necessarily. If it is safe and can be respectful, talking directly with your spouse will help resolve issues faster and with less cost.
2. What if I get too emotional during a conversation?
Pause the discussion. Step away, calm down, and return later. If arguments repeat, consider involving a therapist or communications coach.
3. How does Collaborative Divorce improve communication?
In Collaborative Divorce, a neutral mental health professional guides conversations, manage emotions, and ensure each spouse feels heard.
I have been practicing family law since graduating from Stetson University College of Law. I am a proud member of the Central Florida Association for Women Lawyers and the Orange County Bar Association where I have been a member of the Angel Tree Project Committee, Backpack Project Committee, Young Lawyers Section Charity Golf Tournament Committee, and the Great Oaks Village Committee. In my free time I enjoy the adventures of life with my husband, adorable daughter, and miniature pinscher.
In joining The Aikin Family Law Group, I bring a passion for helping individuals and families constructively resolve their marital issues. I understand how divorce can affect children for years to come and work with parents to minimize conflict and establish effective co-parenting relationships.
Drawing on my experience in the courtroom, my goal is to educate clients on options and likely outcomes so they can make the best decisions to avoid the unnecessary emotional and financial costs of litigation.
